17.3.09

Missin' That Home

It used to be home but it lost its spirit…
It was a place which I called heart… but now with no beats in it…
Four years and I’ve been denying the fact that something has changed…
And it would never ever be the same…
No matter how much I try…
No matter how hard I cry…
All what is left is the thing I feel inside…
Four years and I’ve been pushing the real image away…
Thinking that it might take the pain away…
Longing for that image I lived one day…
Four years and it’s the first time I face reality…
Though I deny it deep inside…
But it’s right here in front of my eyes…
This is no longer home…
It’s a place whose every aspect rushes thousands of memories, feelings, and tears inside…
Everything is in its actual place…
The smell is still there…
Every little thing is tied with a memory…
FOR GOD SAKE!!!
I can’t hold it anymore!!!
I miss you!!!
I DO!!!
I wish I can revive that soul that would scatter its sunshine over that place and turn it into home again!!!
The home where I grew up in…
With the warmth, sweetness and tenderness I was filled up with…
By you granny!
I long to hold you,
to kiss your soft hand one more time…
I miss the sound of your footsteps…
I miss your voice…
I miss you in every feeling the word contain!
I remember the way I used to run to you when you were lying in you bed… and tell you that I’m here,
how I used to jump with joy… knowing that you’re happy for seeing me!
I remember how you used to yell at me whenever I did something wrong…
I miss you nana!!!
I MISS YOU!!!
I guess I couldn’t hold the idea of you not being in the same place where you used to be…
Four years and I’ve been forcing myself not to come here!
But I guess this is gonna be my last visit here…

This one is dedicated to my beloved Nana ♥...
May Allah Rest her Soul in Peace =’(
(8-April-2004)

Fouz HabjouQa
10-April-2008

3 comments:

  1. Fouz-san that was really touching ... May her soul rest in peace and may your heart over come the pain...

    Takwa desu:)

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  2. Really touching...
    It reminded me too with my childhood house and may beloved Nana :'(
    You will meet her in heaven insha'allah.

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  3. Takwa-San..
    Ameen :( I really miss her!

    Hasna-San..
    Yeah.. so u know exactly what I'm talkin' about :'(
    Inshallah Ameen..

    Thank you both for your comments =)

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